Self-obsessed is ♥.
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Saturday, August 12, 2006, 1:16 PM
im tired im tired im tired.im wondering where have all my concentration go. i cant seem to get anything into my head. i flunked a maths paper. and i need serious revision for chemistry. i dont understand a shit about it. the worst thing is, im having major moodswings lately. i can smile and be happy for one minute and total change for another minute. no idea whats going on. something to do with myself. and im seriously upset about a maths. though i didnt show it out, i really feel like stabbing my heart at the midst of the paper. im so stupid, im so dumb. i cant even complete a simple qn. im as good as dead.
i dont seem to know myself at all. its like i need something to happen, to finally know that i like this, i dont like this, this is what i want, this is not what i want, blah blah blah. i dont even understand a fuck about me! though i didnt had much moodswing in school these days, i feel totally shitty at home. im not bottling up any frustration or stresses. i just suddenly feel like that whenever im alone. i dont know what im thinking and hoping my wishes could come true. the more i think about it, the more i feel its impossible. though it seems good on the outside maybe on the inside too. but do you know how much it hurts knowing its not something to be happy about? its just something thats is natural. the way you treat your friends and not something more than that. anyone get me?
aww. i suck right. complaining whats happening again. the reason? cause nothing i've wish to happen to me, has ever come true. so how fucked up could i feel right now? i dont want dreamy pictures of you and me. i want reality to be so.
i dont want fairytales, i just want it to happen. =(