Self-obsessed is ♥.
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Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 12:38 PM
today was a really sucky day. >=though it seems alright but its not. school was pretty fine. i skipped band today. sorry kok. i owe you an explanation i know. but you wouldnt want to know right? cause im like the annoying one always giving excuses for not going? sorry for creating troubles for you. and thanks for helping me out all this while in band.
i really regret taking the train home today. met some pervertic stinky old fart. wth. im like so confused while it happened. dirty, old, disgusting, moronic! omg. i cant stand it. next time i see anybody like this, im gonna grab him and punch him like a punchbag. WARNING. to those pervertic people. control yourself or die. shame on you! argh. =(
i hate taking the train now.
Friday, August 25, 2006, 12:10 PM
I'm not okay, i promise. LOL.i got cramps today. x( very pain. i hate it when monthly blues come.
um, during maths lesson, everybody go get extra marks while i go deduct marks. haha. hongwei say im so damn honest. haha. honest is a virtue! and others said i was STUPID. haha. but anyway i got add one more mark lah. haha.
common test 3s a big blow to me... so im trying to buck up. tried to study chemistry ytd. and history today. hmmm. im doing good. =D getting ready for end of year. im very kiasu. dont want to be disappointed by myself again. =D
nothing to do now... haha. my life has become very boring... wr and yf dont go online le. x( nobody talks to me only... oh well. hais.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006, 10:24 AM
oh ya, i forgotten to add something.I AM FAT.
there. happy? so what if i am? does that really makes you happy? im hurt. seriously hurt. and i guess this is part of the reason for feeling so bu shuang after school. i dont see how it bothers you seeing me, being so fat. just shut your eyes and walk away. or i could just fade into the wallpaper.
9:30 AM
got back all my results except e maths. most probably will be getting it back tml. damn. i failed a maths, english and history. how great. if i carry on like this, i might be staying for another year. argh. im totally hopeless.oh ya, Mrs Seah and Mrs Tai changed of sitting arrangement. everyone wasnt that happy about it. i didnt change place sia. still sitting there, from the start of the year until now. haha. guess im too obedient le. =X
i felt so bu shuang when lessons end this afternoon. dont know how to put it. i knew they werent scolding me, but they were so close behind me, practically shouting those "words" into my face. im not that fucking person who made those changes okay. and then i felt like exploding. no kidding, as in POM! of course i didnt lah, tried to get away from everyone first. on my way home, i was so damn calm lor. and theres this uncle, fighting over a seat with me. Jesus. take it lah. theres plenty of seats behind okay. this wont piss me off that much normally, but today it did.
my face was super black i guess, even my brother sensed something was wrong. he didnt get into my way as usual, fighting with me over the comp, ordering me around. he even offered me Pringles. whoa. good to have a brother who is "sensible" and managed to save his life.
i tried to calm myself down but nothing works! i've been sitting in my bedroom like for an hour, trying to read a book. but i ended up having a mini feast in my room. kept stuffing myself with chips and sweets. what the. i feel so stressed! im trying to feel brighter these days. but sad to say, it only lasted for a few hours. and then my mood goes real black again. so what if im smiling?
oh well. i should stopping ranting now. my english sucks and i should work on my grammar or whatever shit. and i shouldnt be wasting time here right? i should be studying, doing chores anything but using comp. be that perfect little kid.
reality sucks like nothing else.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006, 12:02 PM
hmmm.i have nothing to say bah. extremely bad results. i hate band. thats all.
i dont even dare to show my daddy my papers. x(
Monday, August 21, 2006, 1:03 AM
picture of the day:
my artistic picture. haha. the sky is so beautiful. =)
12:51 AM
i cant move now!i cannot move my body sia. =T so tired... ytd work from 12 to 8. fun fun fun. work with yf. she very funny. laugh until i stomachpain. haha. plus ytd is henry on shift ma. today is that razali. omg. sure not fun de. >=T
my hair very long le leh... dont know want go cut ma... i scared cut liao not nice... and i want long long hair. =( im so confused lor. people later say i short hair nice, then later say prefer i long hair. now say i short hair nicer than i long hair. wah~ dont know which one should i listen to... ask mk for opinion. =D i want to go out with mk. >=( i having exams that time seldom see her lor. and she now preparing for prelim. argh. just find a day, both of us free de. hehee. =D then we go out shopping!
oh ya, i lost my hp pouch. =( mummy choose and buy for me de... didnt tell her, cause i know she will angry de sia. haha. maybe i go find lor, see got exactly the same one not. hais.
okay, times up. LOL. today work 1.30 to 7.
i have serious weight problem liao. x( ahhh!~ die le lah. have to so something before the december holidays. i dont want to be laughed again...
Saturday, August 19, 2006, 11:02 AM
common test's over! but its nothing to be happy about...im sick again. =( because of that stupid 2.4 km ytd. my whole body's aching and im having slight fever now. sorry peeps, for spoiling your mood today. im very tired lah. plus im seriously upset about my a maths paper. i've never get such low marks for a maths ever in my life... i only got 13/50. i think its my fault. cause i didnt do much revision... from now on have to start revising for end-of-year liao. =(
sorry sorry sorry peeps for being so moody these days. =( forgive me! im very tired. tired until dont have the strength to talk or smile. and i feel like sleeping forever and not waking up. =D
tml theres band and work. going to be a long long day. haha.
lucky i got quite a good mark for chinese. =D 40/50. although my results go down le... at least its far better than a maths lor. =(
new blogskin btw. comments comments. =)
Saturday, August 12, 2006, 1:16 PM
im tired im tired im tired.im wondering where have all my concentration go. i cant seem to get anything into my head. i flunked a maths paper. and i need serious revision for chemistry. i dont understand a shit about it. the worst thing is, im having major moodswings lately. i can smile and be happy for one minute and total change for another minute. no idea whats going on. something to do with myself. and im seriously upset about a maths. though i didnt show it out, i really feel like stabbing my heart at the midst of the paper. im so stupid, im so dumb. i cant even complete a simple qn. im as good as dead.
i dont seem to know myself at all. its like i need something to happen, to finally know that i like this, i dont like this, this is what i want, this is not what i want, blah blah blah. i dont even understand a fuck about me! though i didnt had much moodswing in school these days, i feel totally shitty at home. im not bottling up any frustration or stresses. i just suddenly feel like that whenever im alone. i dont know what im thinking and hoping my wishes could come true. the more i think about it, the more i feel its impossible. though it seems good on the outside maybe on the inside too. but do you know how much it hurts knowing its not something to be happy about? its just something thats is natural. the way you treat your friends and not something more than that. anyone get me?
aww. i suck right. complaining whats happening again. the reason? cause nothing i've wish to happen to me, has ever come true. so how fucked up could i feel right now? i dont want dreamy pictures of you and me. i want reality to be so.
i dont want fairytales, i just want it to happen. =(
Thursday, August 10, 2006, 11:45 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!went to work today, help the manager out. im a cleaner today. =T sweep and mop lobby, sweep and mop kitchen plus counter and clean up outside mac the smoking and non-smoking area. than wash lots and lots of trays. and wipe lots and lots of tables. LOL.
im not feeling that well in the morning. got headache and couldnt get out of bed sia. but then i too good liao go to work immediately after the manager called me. haha. i confess! its partly because of double pay lah. =D but i totally hate the new manager lor. cant believe i helped him out today. >=T he scolded me. what the. and its under a no-one-to-be-blame circumstances lor. he sucks. a customer wanted 2 pack of large fries. then its not ready yet ma. before that i also didnt take fries, then i told the customer i'll send it to him later. then i went to take another customer's order. then i see the fries ready liao so i go take. just nice that stupid manager there. he scolded me for didnt drop fries lor. what the. i just walk there only leh. just now cooking fries ar. then i just go counter a few minutes nia. havent even sell one pack of fries lor and he scolded. >=T pissed. he said it was unfair for him to always drop fries for me. omg. i work with for like the second time only lor. and he dared to use ALWAYS. tsk tsk. the worst thing is he showed attitude! he threw the spatula or something real hard back to its original place lor. think i scared ar?! LOL.
then i dont want to counter liao. see him i sian dao... hais. then i continue doing lobby lor. i washed the trays then i go wipe them. and he was looking for me, wanting me to go clear the lobbby. cheez. then i already bu shuang what. so when he ask me why im wiping trays i told him, " i wash the trays then i wipe the trays lah!" so pissed, then i just walk out of the kitchen to the lobby. wahahaha! i so attitude. =D
then he like scared scared talk to me. who cares. =p after that i left with my brother. he give me attitude face lor! what the. i dont want to work with him ar. sooner or later i quit sia. =X argh.
then me and my brother walk back home from bb bus interchange. walk on a very quiet street. the wind blowing and the street light... i love it. i was listening to my mp3 and the quiet night is so lovely. =D too bad lah, i was enjoying the night but my brother keep shouting at me, to walk faster. =( and then it was all gone. im back at home.
im feeling lost for no particular reason. i need my lighthouse. =(
lost ship. drifting aimlessly on the calm bue sea.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006, 12:01 PM
IM FRUSTRATED WITH MY COMPUTER!all my programmes my brother installed are gone for good. dammit. I HATE THIS!
ARGH!!! IM ANGRY AT EVERYTHING. >=T
11:19 AM
hello~!we're celebrating National Day today! the only good thing about our school pe tee is, we dont have to worry when it comes to National Day. =X true dont you think so? haha.
Ms Lai got so angry at us. cause we didnt put in our best for the parade. sorry to make her angry... " i think you're important and you don't think you're important, then you get out!" very scary statement. i think the school really put in lots of hope on us, band members, to achieve a gold in syf next year. cause if we did, we can go Japan trip. FREE OF CHARGE. good eh? i was stunned by this news. "you people dont feel proud to be in the band... ... whenever i played for my band, i feel so honoured, proud, great..." i wish i could feel so too... though shes not that kind of people who judge people according to their playings... Ms Tan is. and im always being criticise... it dont feel good at all. but i admit, when i played with the band, i did feel honoured and great. cause im part of it. =) hope she wont be so angry now...
the old folks were quite fun to be with. but i feel uneasy with them. maybe its the speed thingy, but it hard to communicate with them. not that im trying to put a clear line between elderly and youngsters. its just that... i need to learn to communicate with them. =( sad to admit, i actually cant communicate with my grandmother that well too. i got stuck with dialects. and she doesnt understand much mandarin and english. =( so each and every conversations ended up with "aiya". =T
the bazar thingy was fun? haha. didnt really go around buying stuff or what. spent the whole morning sitting around and moaning about my left arm. hurts~ my left arm got temporarily paralysed after the parade. shucks. lucky i got my junior to carry my baby eupho for me. =D haha.
chemistry test was quite hard for me. =( i didnt really study lah, just flipped thru and thats it. =T im so lazy... common test. omg. im gonna fail badly i guess. i dont know what to do. and i dont feel like doing anything. LOL. im really a very lazy person. argh.
everything's taken for granted. =(
Tuesday, August 08, 2006, 10:34 AM
alright. i wrote a REAL long post ytd and theres was problem with the code thigny. =T and im toooooooo lazy to type everything again luh. >=T basically, i wasted ytd, lying around waiting for my computer to come back home, watching superband finals, eat, sleep, sms kajiao people. there. my life's so boring without computer. =Dnothing much about today bah... im tired plus not in the mood. stupid eeyore. hes so stupid. hes so stupid. >=T dont care luh. maybe i should become self-obsessed. =D thats the better way out of die-hard crushes. im tired of waiting for my fairy godmother to come and grant my wishes. it just doesnt seem true enough to happen.
life's no fairytale, just like how the both of us will be nothing more than just friends.
Thursday, August 03, 2006, 11:34 AM
today was... nice actually. no idea why but it just seems the best day after such a stormy week. so many smiling faces. im wondering if everythings back to normal again. =)hmmm, i was feeling so sleepy during lesson time. and oh god, i think im gonna fail e maths this time. im stuck with qn 5. argh. theres physics test tml. =T and maths remedial. and band! since when have i become so busy. LOL.
oh ya, went to watch serene's band performance at the Youth Expression last sat, 29/7/o6. wr and i took some neos too! we had a GREAT time! haha. and then i finally got those neos scanned. thanks to brother's friend. =) one of the neos, the printing wasnt that good. but its fun! =D
show you guys two of the neos we took. something wrong with blogger. =T i took like 3o minutes to post this two neos. LOL.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006, 10:51 AM
hey people! havent been blogging for weeks. im waiting for yf to send me all my neos. haha. its been so long since i've taken neos with people i guess. so excited! haha.common tests coming. aww. how much i hate it. =( and i think i did something bad today. i feel so guilty. i didnt go band practice like again! sorry jo and kk. i promise after ct i'll go. my daddy's really nagging at me. im going sectionals tml. i'll make sure i can play jericho( full song) before i can step out of school. okay? =D
lots to catch up, chemistry, physics, a and e maths. arghh. why is everything so messy and rushy? bleah. time to pull up my socks. my results were real bad. too terrible to even mention it. hurhur.
IM WORRIED SICK! but i dont know what im worried about. just felt like this since i stepped out of school today. guilty conscious. might be because i ran into ms tan and mr han. they smiled at me. and it makes me feel so bad... i've memorised Sousa! i do hope they allow me to perform. i persuaded my daddy to let me go for the parade. but i kinda have a bad feeling that ms lai would come lecture me and take away me chance. =( see. thats what you call people who've done wrong on purpose and yet regretting it in a split second. arghh.
enough for now? =D